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Subject: TrollfesT - Brakebein
Replies: 24 Views: 763
kute_lez 5.11.08 - 04:59am
An ancient legend about The Legendary Beer is sung far,far within the forest where no light can enter. This is where the trolls sit around hammering down their saluted beer. In a corner,always with them,the hell hound Garm lies,but he is not asleep,that's for sure. If you were to get within an arm's length,your arm would become a lot shorter,unless you are a troll of course. In fact,Garm snaps at everything that moves,though the trolls seem to have earned his respect. Anyway,as I was saying,the caves deep into the forest are always hosts for great trollish parties. One can actually come and drink whenever one would like to. To be able to do so,the trolls would need to have an incredible number of barrels with different kinds of funny brew,and so they did,according to the legend. So I guess you can imagine that the trolls had their horns filled to the top again and again and again as they cheered and enjoyed their ancient brews to their fullest. And so they sang about the wisdom they gained and acted like the entire forest would fall to the ground,until their hair caught fire when they strolled off into parts of the forest where the sun comes in slightly to much in morning hours *
kute_lez 5.11.08 - 05:09am
Another story goes about a troll who once heard about The Legendary Beer. Once a strong elder troll named Brakebein got out of bed on the wrong foot,had a cup of coffee and started thinking. This was a rather unusual activity for trolls,so it was no suprise to anyone that his thoughts were about The Legendary Beer. He wanted to find it,drink it,even eat it,just to get the taste of this brew from the forgotten past. In fact,since Brakebein had a memory of tasting this precious beer,he wanted more. Therefor he started yelling demandingly to the other trolls,that they'd better help him to sail the seas to find The Legendary Beer *
kute_lez 5.11.08 - 05:18am
Brakebein,who was a very strong and commanding troll,managed to take with him almost any troll around. Even his mother went along (for the fresh air of course) With his new crew,he packed for a long expedition. They even prepared for battle before marching out of the forest. The path lead to water,but it also made the trolls stumble upon the coastal town of the scarey pirate Busken and his men. Waiting for nightfall, Brakebein decided to pay these nasty pirates a visit and teach them who the real boss is. It also came in handy that Busken had large floating devices (Humans and pirates referred to them as ships) These could easily carry quite a few large and rather heavy trolls over vast amounts of water *
kute_lez 5.11.08 - 05:30am
In a castle in the town lived Busken and his men. They had so many ships that no man had yet to count them. All ships had Busken's scarey sign on them. Thus the sight of them would startle any grown man,since everyone knew these men plundered, betrayed and stole from all kinds of people,coast to coast. What Busken did not know,was that Brakebein had hidden his trollish army in treetops surrounding the inn where Busken was having his nightly pint of ale. The trolls were ready for battle but Busken was not. Heads and other rather needed body parts flew across the dock as Brakebein showed the pirates who was really to be frightened of. After killing the pirates, Brakebein took Busken's hat. When there were no pirates, the trolls killed Busken's parrot before they realised they had won. The trolls found the biggest ship in the dock and sailed into the open sea *
kute_lez 5.11.08 - 05:40am
Out sailing the big ocean,the trolls were still celebrating Busken's defeat. After self initiating himself as captain Brakebein began staking out a course to his trollish crew. With Busken's hat on, Brakebein and the trolls sailed across the ocean. Plundering and destroying every ship in sight,Brakebein and his crew made a rumour that went from harbour to harbour. Unfortunately the Norwegian discoverer Tor Heyerdal didn't hear it. One day the trolls saw him sailing around on a strange ship with a funny saw. Unluckily he had no knowledge of the Legendary Beer and this made Brakebein very angry. He commanded Tor to tell him. I bet you could imagine how his head went after that *
kute_lez 5.11.08 - 05:52am
Early one morning,before the trolls got out of bed,the sea was incredibly quiet. Just below sea level,a monster was sneaking up on the ship. At this moment,Brakebein was half asleep. He could feel something was not right. All he could here was silence, which was not normal for a troll filled ship. He ran out and saw the huge sea monster with a troll in it's mouth. Brakebein went for his axe. He saw the monster toying with his mother, which was not a good move by the monster. Brakebein chopped and stabbed it until it was dead and tied it up between the ship's two masts. Next,he ordered MongoTroll to clean the deck as they prepared to celebrate their victory with the opponent as the main course *
kute_lez 5.11.08 - 05:59am
Brakebein found himself with a ship full of meat. They also had lots of strange ale and other drinkworthy substances that they had plundered off the other ships. A great eating party to place and there was not much left of anything afterwards. Brakebein himself managed to eat half the monster on his own. It was a long time before the trolls forgot about that party *
kute_lez 5.11.08 - 06:03am
One of the songs the trolls had heard on their voyage was about a cave filled with lots of alcoholic drinkables. Even the pirates had been singing this song. The trolls made their own version but it is not as lovely as the version you hear on TrollfesT's alb*m Brakebein *
kute_lez 5.11.08 - 06:18am
The trolls could finally see dry land. Some of the trolls even drooled at the sight of ground and trees. This led to the ship hitting the s ,since no troll knew how to make it stop. Finally it was time to go as and see if they could taste the local ale and if they could find Christians to torture. The trolls were incredibly cheerful about placing their big smelly feet on steady ground. Brakebein went straight to the forest. The other trolls stayed on the beach and found a chest of tea and suger. They were curious to know what their uses were *
kute_lez 5.11.08 - 06:27am
Brakebein later came out of the forest. He hadn't found The Legendary Beer but he found a couple of priests hunting a boar. As he came out with a priest in each hand,he was grinning and dribbling. They started a barbecue and went for the last of their drink barrels to celebrate once more. After their party the pushed the ship into the water again and sailed off *
kute_lez 5.11.08 - 06:35am
After travellimg a while,the trolls found another s . They tied the ship up this time and were welcomed by a peaceful race smoking a funny looking peace pipe. Smoking them would make you think funny thoughts,get hungry,dance and laugh at anything. The trolls enjoyed their time with these people and thought well of their funny smokes. The trolls joined the natives surfing and bathing and played Money In A Can. Brakebein got tired though. The troops assembled and waved goodbye to the funny people *
kute_lez 5.11.08 - 06:46am
The other trolls were getting sick and tired of looking for The Legendary Beer and demanded Brakebein to set course home. Terribly home sick,the trolls paddled with anything that might look like an oar. Sailing and paddling home,Brakebein's mother asked what the journey was for. MongoTroll told her about The Legendary Beer and that's when she told him that she was the one who brewed it all along! The trolls were angry with Brakebein. It ended well though and the trolls were happy at the thought of catching up on their lost drinking *
kute_lez 5.11.08 - 06:50am
After getting home,the trolls had a huge home-coming party. Brakebein was locked in a cave but he found lots of beer that he refused to share,so the trolls had to make friends again to taste it,so they did and partied on. No hard feelings ........ THE END *
donnaw0 5.11.08 - 01:13pm
Thats quite poss the best thing ive read in a long, long time. Made me smile at the end aswell. *
skadi_88 5.11.08 - 02:38pm
lol. :D *
kute_lez 5.11.08 - 08:31pm
This is a track by track story of the alb*m Brakebein by TrollfesT. Very fun,extreme folk metal in a playful mood *
iilmadme 10.12.08 - 06:49am
Lol that's gud :) *
borae 14.03.09 - 09:47pm
I know some trolls. 
their Socialably acceptable collective name is now football suporters *
darkxn 13.08.09 - 11:43pm
makes me wanna consider being a footie fan... Man U!!! xD *
mielikki 31.10.09 - 11:25pm
*
borae 1.11.09 - 04:50am
i just saw a video of the guys ''working'' on their album, i say ''working''because they seemed to be having way too much fun arsing about to call it working
*
aenglisc 1.07.10 - 08:38pm
True. But its often surprising that 'arsing about' is more often going to reveal better results, its organic an translates in the end result. .not saying setting out to do something in an exact planned way is less. .but you can try too hard *
mielikki 3.07.10 - 08:27am
That's true *
aenglisc 5.07.10 - 12:04am
doesnt anyone disagree with me anymore. *
